Live Another Day
by fearlessly
Summary: Kurt doesn't usually stop for cars or hitchhikers or anything of the sort – especially at night. He is more careful than that; but it's pouring rain and the car looks vulnerable...


**A/N - Warning for abstract suicidal thoughts, mentions of canon character deaths, and a lot of Blangst. This story was inspired by Justin Bieber's song Life is Worth Living. I own nothing.**

Blaine doesn't know where he's going; all he knows is that he's going somewhere far away from everything he's ever known. He may never return, and he's surprisingly okay with that.

It's not just bad luck. It's more serious than just a crappy day, or even a bad week. His life has felt like he's been constantly running in the same place, like being stuck on a treadmill, and he desperately wants to get off.

His entire life passes him by in his head, like it has so often done. He re-hashes out everything he hated about his childhood, like he's done a million times before. This time though, there are more recent events that have caused his panic and his heartache. It's not one incident that made him go crazy, get into his car, not bother with his seatbelt, and speed wildly out of his parents' driveway. It is a number of events – his whole life, actually - and this disastrous week is only the cherry on top. So with an impending sense of doom, he ran.

Now, as he drives down the dark highway away from Westerville, he lets all his thoughts come to the forefront of his brain, because he needs to face them. He needs to validate his feelings and his desire to escape into darkness and never ever come out.

Blaine grips the steering wheel tight as the sobs rumble in his chest. He needs to release them, because it hurts. It physically hurts … and emotionally, it's excruciating. He takes a deep breath and feels the hot tears stream down his face. They match the raindrops slithering down his windshield.

His adult life was going unusually fine. It was nothing to dance and sing in the streets over, but it was adequate. He had a great job, a good man (so he thought), and was far enough away from his parents that he only had to see them once a year.

But his life took a fast turn, as it often did. It had all started on Monday when he was called into the Manhattan School Board's office to meet with the superintendent. Blaine thought the meeting would be about how to deal with parents who had recently made their homophobic (and ludicrous, if Blaine was being honest) thoughts known. The meeting hadn't gone that way at all … "I'm sorry Blaine, but we feel that it is in the best interest of all parties involved to lay you off."

Some parents had been letting on for weeks with their disapproving looks and their under-the-breath snide remarks; but even then, Blaine had never seen it coming. He is aware that even in New York, and especially at the private school he taught at, there are homophobic and entitled people who don't want their perfect children associating with a gay man, but he never thought he'd lose his job over it. The director hadn't outright said it, but the insinuation was there. The parents think he is "too gay" to teach at that school. What does that even mean?

Blaine shakes his head as the sobs reach his throat, threatening to come out. He thought he was passed all this – being judged for the gender he is destined to love. He left Ohio years ago because of that very reason. And now, in New York he's facing the same thing again.

Tuesday, after having cried in anger for the rest of Monday and well into the wee hours of the morning, he had picked himself up and decided to go visit his boyfriend across town. They hadn't been able to see each other as much as they wanted. They both worked – Blaine as a teacher, and Sebastian from his home architecture office. Blaine, feeling down, hoped that surprising Sebastian would make him feel better.

Blaine was the one who had ended up been surprised.

"What are you doing here, Blaine?" Sebastian had screeched while trying to cover up his lover with the bedsheets.

Blaine had stood in the doorway of the bedroom, frozen. He recognized the other man as Sebastian's long time "client". The one that Sebastian had gone on and on about some months ago, "He is really a man's man, Blaine, don't you think? His beard is really full, he doesn't spend a fortune on his clothes, and he won't go anywhere near a musical."

Sebastian's fumbling and cursing had brought Blaine out of his trance though, and all of a sudden it felt like the world was crashing down around him. He wasn't man enough for Sebastian, it seemed; so Blaine turned and ran, like a coward. He ran away the same as he had been doing all his life.

His sobs have found their way out and are now steaming up the inside of his windows. Blaine, speeding down the highway, can't see a thing. The fogged up windows, the tears in his eyes, and the pouring rain make him pull over. He has enough sense, enough _something_ , to not want to crash his car and die on the side of the highway. He turns on his hazards, shuts off the engine, drops his forehead to the steering wheel and cries.

He had thought that running away from New York and back to his parents for a visit would help him. It was a good idea, he had told himself - but in hindsight, he had forgotten or denied that his parents never really had given him any comfort, not when he was a child, and not now.

He had arrived in Columbus on Thursday evening and rented a car to drive to Westerville. He hadn't expected his parents to pick him up at the airport, so he hadn't even asked. In fact, the whole trip was a surprise, and it's dawning on him now that he should stop surprising people. It always just goes horribly wrong.

"Blaine! Why didn't you tell us you were coming?" his mother had said as she opened the door for him. "Honey, we have important plans this weekend and we can't change them."

Blaine hadn't been shocked that they had "important" plans, which ended up being dinner and drinks with their socialite friends; and he didn't mind his parents going out and leaving him home alone. He had grown up with that expectation. It almost didn't faze him anymore.

This morning though, at breakfast, his father had interrogated him, "Why are you here Blaine? And why do you look like someone ran over your dog?"

Blaine hadn't really wanted to tell his parents, but he had to get it off his chest. He had to tell someone, and Blaine always had the hope in his heart that his parents would one day surprise him and be able to comfort him and accept him.

He told them everything beginning with the school parents, how the Manhattan School District had decided to lay him off, and ending with finding Sebastian in bed with one of his clients. He had cried while his mother coldly held his hand, and his father held his gaze (as detached as it was). "I guess I'm too gay to teach and not man enough for my boyfriend," Blaine had lamented.

"Then stop being gay at all," his father interrupted. "I told you when you were fifteen that your life was going to go to hell in a handbasket if you continued with the silly notion that you love boys." His father said it with a disgusted, disapproving face.

"We want to help you Blaine. We want to love you and accept you fully, but we just can't; not until you come to your senses," his mother added. "Look at your brother. Cooper and his wife are very happy."

Blaine had felt as if his heart had shattered into a million pieces.

And now, as he sits in his rental car with the pouring rain pounding the roof, he shivers in the cold. His sobs are wretched and his shirt is soaked with all the tears that have fallen. He has nowhere to go and no direction. The most frightening part of that, Blaine thinks, is that he doesn't care. He's gay … too gay. He's a disappointment to his students' parents, to his now ex-boyfriend, and to his own parents. At 24 years old, he feels like ending it all. He doesn't think he'd ever have the courage to actually go through with something, because he's a coward, but God, he wishes he did.

Because living like _this_ isn't living anyway.

XXXXX

Kurt is singing along with Elphaba as he drives his dad's truck down the highway, slowly making his way back to Lima from Westerville. He doesn't like the rain, but he does enjoy long drives. They allow him the time and space to think, it's not something he gets too often in New York; so, when his father asked him to deliver some car parts to a customer in Westerville, Kurt had jumped at the opportunity.

It has been a long week for him and his family. The anniversary of his brother's passing is always hard on them. He returns home for it every year, and although it gets easier, it is still a sad and solemn time, no matter how many pair of sky blue socks he packs.

When Kurt thinks about it, his life has been a rollercoaster. It started off spectacularly with his mother and father and everything in his little life intact. His childhood took a turn when his mother died and then again when he discovered his sexuality. Kurt knows it could have been much worse. His father, although not fully understanding, was supportive and accepting of him when he came out. And actually, it eventually brought them closer, making their bond stronger, and their love more freely given.

Kurt will never forget the absolute darkest time in his life, though - when his brother died. He had thought he'd never have to go through anything worse than losing his mother, but he had been wrong. His mother's death was a hard blow to him for sure; but when Finn died, it was different. It shocked him down to his core and caught everyone off guard, like a snow blizzard in April. He and Finn had just grown closer too … closer than ever before. They had been there for each other through everything – the breakup with Rachel, the failed attempts at getting into their respective colleges, the time he was beat up in the alley, and his father's second heart attack. Finn had been more than a brother. He was his rock, his best friend. When he died, Kurt though he would die too … Kurt had _wanted_ to die too.

But he had come out of the darkness thanks to his loving parents, his supportive friends, a little bit of counseling, and his own brand of Elizabeth-Hummel determination. He had sworn he would not go down without a fight. He took the bull by the horns, so to speak, and made something out of his life – because Finn would have wanted that for him, and because deep down, he wanted that for himself.

He is now on the right track. He has just landed the starring role in a new Broadway musical, which granted him the time to come home for a week before rehearsals start. He has supportive and fun friends. He lives in the best city in the world. He is happy with his home and with his ever-growing wardrobe. And, his New Year's resolution this year is to finally find a nice man to share his life with.

As Kurt drives, he smiles happily to himself. All of a sudden, he can't wait to get home to hug his dad and try the lemon cookies Carole had been baking when he left for Westerville. About half way home though, Kurt sees two yellow lights blinking on the side of the road. He usually doesn't stop for cars or hitchhikers or anything of the sort – especially at night. He is more careful than that; but it's pouring rain and the car looks _vulnerable_ – something inside him is telling him to stop.

He slows down and pulls over.

XXXXX

Blaine is too consumed by his hysterical sobs to see the bright lights approaching from behind, or to hear the noise of approaching tires coming to a stop. He doesn't notice the person standing outside his car either, until he is rapping on the fogged up window and calling out, "Are you okay?"

Blaine freezes and stays silent. If he doesn't move or make a noise the stranger will go away. There is no sense in bringing anyone else into his mess.

"Do you need help?" The voice says.

Blaine ignores him and tries to stifle his cries. He grabs at some tissues in the back seat and hastily wipes at his swollen eyes and blows his nose. He's sure he looks terrible, but really at this point Blaine doesn't care.

"I can help," the voice presses on. "I know my way around an engine."

Blaine takes a couple deep breaths and sighs. The stranger is not going away, so he may as well just let him know that he's fine and he'll get back on his way. Blaine rolls down his window and … _Oh._

"Oh," Kurt says, because he wasn't expecting this. The (handsome) stranger looks distraught and like he's had quite the night. "H-hi. Are … are you okay?"

Blaine doesn't know what causes him to lose it. It may be the question – _are you okay;_ or it's perhaps the stranger's moonlit complexion and his deep azure gaze, which is _somehow_ comforting. Blaine tries, but he can't keep his sobs at bay. They surge from his mouth like an avalanche coming down slow with no end in sight. "N-no… No, not okay," he spurts out.

The urge … the same pull that made Kurt stop, pull over, and venture into the cold rain (knowing that his hair and clothing would be ruined), makes Kurt run around to the passenger side and open the door. He slides in, shuts out the rain, and stares at the sobbing man next to him.

"P-please just go," Blaine stutters. "Please go. I'm fine."

Kurt continues staring. He sees something in the stranger's eyes … something familiar and something … amiss. "I don't think you should be alone right now," Kurt says gently. He can't take his eyes away from the man beside him because there is something so heart-breaking, yet so beautiful, about him. "I'm Kurt."

Blaine hiccups and forces his sobs back down as he wipes his eyes again. He's in disbelief of the man next to him. The man who stopped in the pouring rain to help him; the man who, when he found out that it was much more than a flat tire, stayed anyway. This stranger has done more for him in the last three minutes than his parents have his whole life. "Blaine," his voice cracks when he says it. He clears his throat and tries again. "I'm Blaine."

"It's nice to meet you Blaine," Kurt says. Blaine can tell that Kurt is genuine, if not by the soft and melodic tone of his voice, then by his ocean-like gaze, which has not let him out of its sight.

"I see that you're having a rough time," Kurt says softly. "I'm a good listener."

Blaine scoffs. "Trust me; you don't want to hear my problems."

"Try me."

Blaine looks at him … really looks at him, and he sees something in Kurt that makes start talking. "I – I'm just at a bad time in my life right now. And, I … I don't know where to go from here, or if I want to go anywhere at all," Blaine finishes with a whisper.

Something in Kurt's gaze flinches, but he doesn't take his eyes away. In fact, he scoots a bit closer and places his hand over Blaine's cold trembling one. "I know its cliché, but it gets better."

Blaine shakes his head slightly as he looks up into Kurt's eyes. "How – how can you know that?"

"Because even if our situations aren't the same, I've been where you are," Kurt says easily. "I've been lost with nowhere to go."

Blaine's lip trembles and a couple tears slide down his cheeks.

Kurt squeezes his hand. "Blaine, I can't tell you that it will be an easy road. You will have quite a long journey ahead of you, but I can tell you with absolute certainty that life is worth living."

Blaine closes his eyes and lets his emotions latch on to the passion in Kurt's voice. He only opens them again when he feels that Kurt is wiping at his falling tears with a tissue. "You said something about being a good listener," Blaine says sheepishly.

Kurt smiles. "There's a coffee shop just entering Lima. I know it's still open."

"The Lima Bean," Blaine says.

"That's the one."

"Meet you there?"

"No," Kurt says. "Switch spots with me. I'll drive."

"But your vehicle…"

"Never mind that, my dad will drive me back to pick it up later."

Blaine smiles sadly and looks down at their still joined hands. "You're so compassionate, Kurt. Please let me buy your coffee."

"But you don't know my order," Kurt says teasingly, trying to lighten the mood for this man.

"No, but I'd like to," Blaine says with a small smile.


End file.
